I always wanted to be the fun mom. Instead I felt wrecked by postpartum depression, unsupported in my time of crisis, and stressed about the cost of childcare even though I worked full time. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, I worked with kids pretty much my entire life. I thought I knew what it was like. I was ready for the crafts, the books, and the adventures! What I wasn't prepared for was the total lack of support for working mothers. I loved my career as a children's librarian, but I felt that I had to cut my hours so that my children could have the care they needed. And even then, it was still difficult to afford the pre-k experiences we wanted and our children deserve. It was luck, not choice, that my daughter was able to get into a great program. Being a part time librarian is incredible, but I will always wonder what I could have been if childcare had been more accessible.